Well, the purge has begun in the house, but I'm still eating like shit. So guess what? I feel like utter shit. I can't even wipe my ass or shave my legs and yet I will eat a half of container of ice cream tonight after I consume 2 full dishes of pasta with sauce and meatballs and cheese. YUP! IDIOT!! What is it going to take to get me to wake up?
I ordered Shakeology and Beach Body on Demand. I opened the box but haven't had a shake yet. I have watched Beach Body Videos 2x and it wasn't terrible. Problem is after work I am exhausted and my legs are so swollen I can't move.
I am one big excuse, I am one big contradiction. My anxiety is through the roof. I keep waiting to get in trouble. I feel guilty for everything. I'm tired. I need to focus. I am a strong determined capable person. Food is my kryptonite.
How do you defeat your kryptonite? Where is the fire? Where is the determination? Where is my will power? The changes I need to make are microscopic! The changes are so microscopic yet the results will be so tremendous. Why can't I do it? What is wrong with me? Why is food so enticing and why does it have such control over me? I am obsessed.
HELP!
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